Porn Klown Posse

Straight from the Backseat of the Time Machine

klowns — Thu, 10 May 2012 03:23:33 +0000

Recommended by Knot, no doubt a reeeeel good read

Flambeau on Amazon’s Giant Flask – Stainless Steel 64 oz

klowns — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 19:32:14 +0000

“I’m a clown who likes a 10-12 oz. nip at the spirits every now and again, before each performance, or when I’m alone. I can say that this flask is perfect for me. My other flasks were always getting lost in my comically oversized pants pockets amidst the confetti, balloon animals, and ropes of colored handkerchiefs. It was nearly impossible for me to quickly find and swig from these puny things, not to mention they did almost nothing to satiate my thirst for liquid comedy. I tried just using the bottles my zany sauce was originally packaged in, but quickly found I needed something more discreet when performing before uptight prudish children and the priggish parents who love to scream and yell about their morals. Not to mention glass is breakable. That doesn’t combine well with my specialty trick, constant pratfalls and collapsing in heaps. Then I found this 64 oz. paragon of discretion, and my hollow void now has one shining object. I’ve incorporated my frequent swigs into the act, and the stupid kids are none the wiser. I mean, it’s opaque. They don’t know what’s in there, and I keep getting funnier until I somehow wake up in the park.”

- Flambeau

Now you want one huh?

PCP – Porn, Can You Hold This for Me?

klowns — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 21:04:32 +0000

Wow, things are sure different when you’re not on google. Just noticed that bing.com has way different results – looks like the posse has been busy producing thousands of prime time porn vids. … Should we thank the academy – wtf?

Can You Tap This for a Ten Thousand Bucks?

klowns — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 19:23:21 +0000

If you can tap this pie the bestes:

We’ll give you 10,000 smackeroos!

Lemme guess … the question on your mind is “What kind of pie do I need to tap?” … heh … THE ANSWER!

It is a Martha Stewart banana cream pie:

All-purpose flour, for dusting

1/2 recipe Pate Brisee

1 large whole egg, lightly beaten, plus 4 large egg yolks

6 to 8 medium-ripe bananas

3 cups whole milk

2/3 cup granulated sugar

5 tablespoons cornstarch

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons confectioners’ sugar

…

How does it work?

Simple, all you have to do is send us a video of you tapping this pie. The video needs to have an intro featuring you or your posse, a creamy middle, and a happy ending.

(Please do not send us anymore videos of cherry, apple or peach cobblers)

~ The winning video will be featured in our new cream pie section and the winning tapper(s) will be invited to join PCP our next klownus maximus adventure ~

Do we have the money?

We’re porn klowns. Haven’t you been watching our porn empire grow?

A Peep into the Minds of World Leaders

klowns — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 17:49:27 +0000

The picnic was off the hook, people were groovin, but still he seemed distracted …

Some of the other world leaders had ridiculed him about not having a klown name yet, but he knew that they didn’t have a ticket to Burning Man, and would not be riding on the Slug this year, so they could kiss it.

Klowns without K

klowns — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 21:00:42 +0000

Yeah it’s on. Or off. … Or eh, missin, the K that is. We are now the Porn *lown Posse. Ahem, I know, you’re probably thinking wtf are they talkin about? We’re talkin about the K, plain and simple.

We tried to save the K, but it was like trying to fight off a rodeo clown with a tuba. We even wrote letters to the offendin parties, and in many different colors, textures, and shapes, but it twas all no good, even Germany has taken our K for good. They refused to stop using “klowns” to refer to every day “clowns.” The ambassador said it was (apparently) (way) too “komplicated” to explain (yeah right!!! Whatevva! Who does he think he’s dealin with????? …. ??????)

… And then there was Gooferman with their “Klown Korps” – but while PCP may have once upon time said there’s no way anyone can just poach our K without askin, we are now softly poached, fun lovin, tender,*lowns, with our resentments forgotten like an occasional sticky spot on a peepshow floor.

Yes PCP was ok with the world, poachin and all … this is until Canada actually wrote us back:

Masquerotica

klowns — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:30:13 +0000

We parked the GAKB at the spot, and helped the saucy and sassy find the little man in the boat … PCP and strippurs, zombies, and the seven seas of latex … so more news on Masquerotica sOOOniche … oh yeah, and some pikchaws too.

Masquerotica Soiree with Porn Klowns

klowns — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 00:42:52 +0000

Grease Mask Klowns Riding Pornicorns

~ to the limit ~

Saturday October 22, 2011
8pm-4am

@ San Francisco Concourse Exhibition Center
635 8th St. @ Brannan / SF 94103

Froghole Breaks Silence for Rare Interview with Bunny

klowns — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 02:16:26 +0000

When Rachel Rabbit White met Froghole …

“Maybe 6-7 years ago, I saw a Porn Klown called Achtung! Then I saw a performance by the Porn Clown Posse. They were playing with needles while the audience played strip bingo. It resonated with me. They were wrong and silly and doing whatever they could think of.” – gimme more

What happened to the doc?

admin — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 18:34:39 +0000

Fuck shit stack. We’re looking at our clocks (all of them, even the broke ass ones, even the one with the Rolodex numbers flipping over fast, I mean, REALLY FAST!) … and weer wonderin what happened to the documentary director – he contacted us a while back askin bout “clowns” … so we had him over for some klown hooch, and are now crying … cryin because all we have is this picture … AREN’T WE GOOD ENUFF?